FAX Humour

Date: Mon, 28 Jul 1997 20:34:55 -0500
From: Gary Hendershot 
To: 'Ambient Maillist' 
Subject: (amb) FAX Humour

These are only jokes, humour, play -- it's not real. Don't be a complete blathering idiot and believe any of this stuff. And don't get perturbed and bent out of shape if this kind of tripe offends you. Also, please don't waste your time trying to add more absurdities to this list. This is bad enough as it is!

FAX has expanded into new areas with new record labels, marketing divisions, and marketing ideas:

  • FAXADDICTX:
    CD and LP box sets, signed and hand numbered editions issued in very low quantities -- like 3, 7, 12 and other numbers that excite numeroligists!

  • FAXBACK:
    The t-shirt division of FAX!

  • FAXY LADY:
    The new 60's psychedelic sub-label! Every release limited to 666 copies!

  • FAX EMILE:
    A special sub-label devoted to releases by anyone named "Emile" !

  • FAX waterglobes!
    Shake-up a winter scene in one of two available large hand-sized waterglobe and watch the snowflakes settle upon the beloved PS-sublabel golden triangle-on-a-circle logo on a black background, or upon the familiar World sublabel logo on a blue background!

  • FAX album cover art flash cards!
    Cover art on one side, the title, track listing, and other pertinent data on the other side! Play trivia and guessing games well into the wee hours with the bewildering number of FAX album covers! "Namlook 3?" "NO." "Supergroup?" "NO!" "Gorn?" "NO, you idiot!" "IF2?" "YES, two points!"

  • FAX deodorant soap!
    Nothing more than bars of common bath soap available in different scents with names such as "Kooler," "Create," "Uvoii," and "Outer Dark!" All have the obligitory "FAX +49-69/450464" embossed in each bar!

    You must be a redneck if you thought:

    "Oversize Pussy" was a porno movie.

    "My Fascinating Instrument" was a porno movie.

    "Xangadix" and "Xangadix 2" were porno movies.

    "Organic Cloud" and "Eulengasse 62" were about flatulism.

    "Fires Of Ork" was an album full of good 'ol campfire songs.

    "Nam-look" meant something possibly to do with "looking Vietnamese."

    "Fanger & Siebert" were movie critics.

    All those round circle covers with the FAX-Dingbat font words were actually conveying some subliminal satanic message.

    You must work at Tower Records if you can't figure out where the hell to file any FAX CDs, so you just:

    Dump them all in the New Age section.

    Dump them all in the Various Artists section.

    Dump them all in the Miscellaneous section.

    Dump them all in the Sound Effects section.

    Dump them all in the Halloween section. 

    -Gary H-
ghenders@gary-hendershot.com
Houston, TX  USA